If you are happy in life right now, it's not because everything about your life is necessarily going right, but because a relationship that really matters to you the most is going great. If you are unhappy in life right now, it's not because everything about your life is going wrong, but because a relationship that really matters to you the most is not going great.
Relationships are like seeds. They have to be nurtured and developed. Expectations are like weeds. They grow on their own accord. When enough investment goes into building a relationship, the expectations in that relationship can be managed. When a relationship is left un-nurtured, then the expectations in that relationship shake the very roots of the
relationship.
relationship.
Our problem is growing expectations in stagnant relationships.
Let us use the metaphor of a savings bank account. Deposits build the reserves in an account from which we can withdraw - but we can withdraw only to the extent we have built the reserves. Similarly, withdrawals in a relationship are possible only to the extent we have made deposits in that relationship.
Let us use the metaphor of a savings bank account. Deposits build the reserves in an account from which we can withdraw - but we can withdraw only to the extent we have built the reserves. Similarly, withdrawals in a relationship are possible only to the extent we have made deposits in that relationship.
In a relationship where there is substantial emotional reserve, mistakes will be tolerated and forgiven, the meaning will be understood even when communication is inadequate, and your intentions will be appreciated even if you fall a little short in your actions. In all, the relationship will be good because you are considered good. And you are considered good because of the deposits you have made to build the emotional reserves in that relationship. However, there are some relationships which are taken for granted; the permanence of the relationships is assumed, and nothing is done to nurture the relationships.
There is continuity of rising expectations, but there is no continuity in making the investments needed to build the relationship. The emotional reserves are overdrawn. In such a scenario, you will be held an offender for every word you speak; every move of yours will be judged; verbal battles and slammed doors become daily occurrences; neither will your actions be appreciated, nor will your intentions be respected. Such a relationship is like walking on a minefield - it blows up any time and many times.
The solution is simpler than simple. Deposits, more deposits and much more deposits. No active relationship can be free from withdrawal, but we can always make enough deposits. That on which you invest time grows. Relationships have to be nurtured with the investment of quality time. Take time to listen and to understand. As often as possible, communicate to be understood.
Make your love visible by being expressive and demonstrative. Seek to give, but also be graceful in receiving. Abusing the gift is abusing the giver. Receiving is one way of showing your respect for the giver, and it is a huge deposit. Building great relationships is an art; so get artistic. Deposit by deposit, paint a great relationship and thus earn your happiness in life.
Mythology shows that even gods had problems with relationships. Here is an opportunity to be one up on god.
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